We interrupt this evenings Federal Election Debate with an urgent news update. On the eve of the finale – Vinaya Ramesh, this seasons Indian Bachelorette has sensationally decided to walk off the show. We now go live to the press conference
Scene change to press conference
Reporter: “What propelled you to leave the show right before the end?”
Vinaya: “Coming onto this show only confirmed what I already knew all along, men are vile creatures..the so called bachelors I met were absolutely awful. In all honesty, even my fleshlight gave me greater satisfaction – both sexually and emotionally.”
Reporter: “But isn’t this so called fleshlight a toy designed and marketed for men?..”
Vinaya: “Anything a man can use, a woman can use better. I find it demeaning and insulting that society has labelled a fleshlight as a toy only usable by men. I can rub it against my vagina just as well as a man would against their cock. I hope my actions will serve as an inspiration to all little girls and women across the world.
Cut back to News Host
News Host: “With the dramatic end to the season, talks are now being held with leading contender Surath “Magnum XL” D and Doctor DJ Dush to potentially sign up for a spinoff series – The Aboriginal Bachelor.”