The dogs around were barking, looking for the mysterious whistle that had stopped blowing. Binch pulled himself up. He had a new-found confidence, now that The Raj was ready for action.
The Raj reached behind himself, with a curious face about him. People couldn’t identify whether he was angry at the situation or he was just hungry. But what came next was rather unexpected. He wasn’t reaching for his pockets – his rugby shorts had none. No, he was reaching elsewhere….
“Look at this lumbering oaf”, scoffed Bugs. “I’ve had it with these fools, damn 5 figure chumps.”
Caz stared in awe and disgust – The Raj was reaching into the behind of his pants. He saw the pudgy fist swimming within The Raj’s own shorts before he pulled out a cheeseburger.
“OHHH WHAT THE?!” Bachi was petrified of his own captain, looking at him in disgust as he unwrapped the cheeseburger and reached to put it in his mouth. Why did he have to pull these moves in the middle of battle? “Hold your shit together, Raj!”
“ENOUGH!” In one swift movement, The Raj pulled his hand away from the cheeseburger that was already lodged in his mouth and backhanded Bachi off the field, a good 10 metres away.
People stared in awe, first at the flight of Bachi, then back to The Raj as chomped on his burger – a 100% Australian Beef patty, pickles, cheese, tomato sauce, pubes, all in between a sloppy bun. People weren’t quite sure what to do at this point – and it certainly had Meowth scared.
“Bugs let’s go, the Shima is not with us today.”
“…. Heahhhh”, replied Bugs. He wasn’t overly impressed with the outcome. He was looking forward to giving the fat man a good beatdown. Perhaps it would have to wait another day.
“Alright boys, let’s reschedule our game of football.”
“Fuck off, Carrot Boy, we’re not having any this rubbish.” Caz had marched forward in the midst of everyone staring at The Raj. “Let’s do this right here, right now.”
“…. Heaaahhhh. Wade, you rat, do something about this.”
Wade had stepped forward. He looked determined but on edge – he didn’t quite feel complete without his basketball. Caz, on the other hand, was already running to Wade.
“YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!” yelled Caz. “HIT ME! HITTTT MEEEEEE!!!!”
And so it began. Binch fired up and immediately ran directly at Meowth.
“Damn it, need to find a rope”, thought Meowth. He ran to the closest tree and immediately climbed it, digging his claws into the tree as he scuttled up.
“COME BACK HERE YOU DAMN PRICK!” Binch’s voice had rectified itself magically. Binch’s strength was unbelievable – he managed to shake the tree, moving it from its very roots. He watched Meowth hanging onto nothing but a mere branch – a branch so long and so weighed down, Binch could almost reach him with his hands. “I’ve almost got you now you damn cat fiend, you’re mine!”
Meowth laughed. A familiar glint had run through his eyes again. Binch was startled – why was that so familiar again? And before he could even remember the last time he saw it was when he got knocked out by the soccer ball, Meowth had already made his move.
“Off the top rope boys!” Meowth had leapt off the branch, elbow soaring down towards Binch. POW – Vinnie was KO’ed this time.
In the meantime, the ultimate fight was about to commence – captain vs. captain, mano el mano. Bugs’ smirk was unwavered by the sheer size of the man in front of him – in fact, his smile grew as he realised The Raj had seemingly forgotten about the fight and was rather intently munching at that sloppy burger of his. This was nothing but a joke.
And within the blink of an eye, The Raj attacked – he threw the cheeseburger right into the big smile Bugs had on his face.
“MEAT?!” Bugs was choking, and was brought to his knees. He sat there coughing and spluttering. “DAMN YOU YOU FAT BASTARD!”
But this was the game plan all along. The Raj lumbered up to the pathetic captain in front of him. “Heahhh this, you orange filth.” On the spot, The Raj turned around and lowered his bottom.
“Nooo… Nooooo… NOOOO!!!” and within moments, Bugs’ mouth was filled with a swimming mixture of beef and ass. The Raj looked up at the sky, and counted to 10. He knew it would all be over by then…
Bachi arose to consciousness and looked up from the side line… He had seen his captain pull a standard move. But he wasn’t impressed or laughing this time around. “You’ll pay for that, you dull-witted, hungry oaf.”