Our hero awakens to the dawn of a new day, lying in the desert. His groin throbs painfully, as he remembers Fitbit’s vicious kicks.
He cannot stand, due to the pain. He begins to crawl through the desert. Thirst and heat ravage him, as he crawls aimlessly across the vast red plains. He crawls for days, living off the small shrubs he finds on the desert floor.
His will to survive is beginning to wane, when suddenly, our hero spots a looming shadow on the horizon – it looks almost like a tower or large building. He crawls desperately through the dust, the fighter’s spirit burning deep within his battered body.
It is night when he finally reaches the mysterious metallic tower…he squints in the darkness, noticing that it is about 150m tall, and metallic. Perhaps he’s found an old abandoned tower?
He climbs inside through a small hatch on the side of the mysterious structure, and curls up in the darkness. Sleep comes swiftly…
*SHUDDERING, RED LIGHTS FLASHING, LOUD EXPLOSIVE SOUNDS”
Our hero awakens to the sound of powerful jets firing. A calm robotic voice is counting down loudly over a speaker system – ‘…7, 6, 5, 4…’
A flashing red light illuminates the small room in which he had crawled and slept. It is filled with various bits of equipment and stored items…. Canned foods, water, oxygen tanks….and 4 FULL BODY SPACE SUITS.
‘…3, 2, 1, LAUNCH’
The cabin is shuddering, the sound is deafening. Our hero is pinned to the floor by powerful G forces
*Cut to scene of a random family… mum, dad, son and daughter. They are in their living room, watching TV*
Dad: Well son, there we have it – Lift off!
Son: Cool dad! Where did you say they were sending that rocket?
Dad: They’re sending it to Mars son! It’s been lauched just a moment ago, from the middle of the desert!
Daughter: What brave men! How many are there dad?
Dad: 3 brave astronauts!
Mum: Wow. God watch over them! I hope nothing happens to those great, brave men.
Dad: I’m sure nothing will happen…
Deep in the storage compartment of the rocket, our hero lies silently contemplating what the F**K is going on.
The engines are roaring, the lights are flashing, the cabin is shuddering……
And Vinnie Balboa feels the beginnings of a deep, blistering rage stirring within him…
VB: ‘WHAT’S HAPPENIN? ADRIAN! AAADDDRIAANNN! FITTTTTTTTBIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!’
*2 hours later… the rocket is in cruise mode, gliding silently through space. The crew is 3 days away from arrival on Mars*